If you’re having trouble with the whole higher power thing, same. I’ve tried just about every spiritual path and wound up walking in a big circle. Regardless of what you believe, there’s some wisdom in the 12 steps of AA and other programs.

Here’s an agnostic version of the steps from my perspective.

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

(from my agnostic perspective)

1. The Step of Seeing Reality Clearly

Now that the substances are filtering out of my system, and I’m commited to getting sober, I can see exactly how much drugs and alcohol took over my life . And I let them! I acknowledge that when alcohol or drugs take the throne in my inner reality, it distorts my attitude, perception, my choices, and my sense of self. It hurts me. I choose to see reality the way it is and I choose to acknowledge that addiction was not working for me. As a result, I block contacts that I used drugs and alcohol with, go to a detox if abstinence is dangerous, and open my mind to the idea of change, looking for opportunities to get sober and stay sober. I become willing to take advice and support in my journey. And then I quit using the substances that were damaging my life.

2. The Step of Remembering the Larger Order

I recognize that there is a deeper wisdom in this world— spiritual, archetypal, ancestral, or just simply the truth — that can restore me to clarity when I’m feeling lost. There’s more to life than just pain, partying, numbing, victimhood, or escaping. I remember that there’s forces bigger than myself at play in life, which are often benevolent- love, loyalty, respect, wisdom, and kindness- and I realize these powers and choose to cultivate them in my presence. I realize that I am worthy of the love and respect I see others getting, and that I’m willing to grow these areas of my life.

3. The Step of Re‑Aligning With Purpose

I commit to placing my life back in alignment with that deeper wisdom that resonates with me, letting my Sovereign self, rather than my impulses and urges, guide my life. I commit to tapping into higher values rather than my base instincts. I commit to caring about the world in a way I was too afraid or angry to before. I know that my purpose is to be aligned with positivity and joy rather than disorder and cruelty. I begin to let go of shame and I start to really trust advice I receive from positive people.

4. The Step of Honest Illumination

I turn inward with courage and curiosity, mapping the shadow side, core wounds, old patterns, and stories I tell myself, all of which have shaped my relationship with alcohol or drugs. I do a lot of journaling. I do a lot of reflecting. And I make a careful list of everything I’ve been angry about, everything that’s hurt me in love, and I look for my part in each of those situations with startling honesty and acceptance. I open my mind to the idea of forgiving these people, even if I have to let them go.

5. The Step of Speaking the Truth Aloud

Now that I’ve done a careful inventory of my resentments and where I went wrong, I share my inner landscape with someone trustworthy. I choose a friend, mentor, or sponsor I trust- a witness to my story- who can hold my truth without judgment. I realize I no longer have to carry it alone. But I do have to get vulnerable and honest with someone trustworthy in order to grow. I talk it through with someone and identify what my unmet emotional needs were- the hole I was trying to fill by lashing out.

6. The Step of Willingness to Transform

I open myself to releasing the patterns that no longer serve me, even the ones that once protected me from legitimate harm. I don’t have to live that way anymore. When I notice that I keep getting myself into trouble somehow, I accept my real role in the situation and look for ways to improve myself, even when it’s difficult. I surrender the need to be in control of things and people that I really cannot control. And I become willing to become a new and different person, with a mantra of values that I can return to when life gets hard and I need that reminder.

7. The Step of Humble Re‑Shaping

I ask the deeper wisdom I trust, the love and respect I’m beginning to trust in, to help me reshape the parts of me that cling to old coping strategies. I go to therapy and work on myself. I challenge the cognitive distortions and the excuses I make for myself, and commit to seeing the world for exactly how it is. I work on healing my bitterness and my pain. I am entirely willing to change and I work hard on creating change in my life, trusting that if I pursue goodness, I will be more kind and helpful to the people around me that I care about. This requires some deep work and I put in my full effort.

8. The Step of Reckoning with My Impact

I make a list of the people, relationships, and parts of myself that were harmed by my drinking or drug use, holding each situation with compassion and accountability. I make a list of all the people I robbed of their peace of mind, confidence, rights, happiness, or safety. And I progress towards being willing to take responibility for the things I’ve done wrong to others.

9. The Step of Repairing the Web

Where possible and appropriate, I take steps to repair what was damaged by me — not to erase the past, but to build a stronger community and be a part of that community as a full person again. I apologize to people without making excuses or trying to trick them to alleviate my own shame. I apologize to people for what I did while I was drunk or on drugs, unless it’s inappropriate or unsafe to talk to them. And then I listen- I let them tell me what hurt, what I did to them, and I acknowledge how they’re feeling, instead of getting defensive.

10. The Step of Ongoing Self‑Witnessing

I continue to observe my thoughts, choices, and behaviors with honesty. When I notice I’m on the wrong path or doing the wrong thing, I take responsibility only for what I can control and course correct gently, paying attention to how other people might be feeling.

11. The Step of Deepening Connection

I continue to cultivate daily practices — whether it’s prayer, meditation, journaling, ritual, reading self-help books, sacred movement (like yoga, running, dance, tai chi) — that keep me connected to the wisdom that steadies me. I care for my physical body and I continue to care for my mental health, putting in daily work to treat my self and my recovery journey as important. I make an effort to connect with other people who are also sober, or who are supportive of my recovery journey, every single day, even if we’re exploring different paths. I recognize that it’s important to work on my sobriety as a top priority on an ongoing basis- not just in the beginning, but throughout my life.

12. The Step of Living the Light Forward

I embody sobriety as a way of being: sharing hope, clarity, and compassion with others, and living as the person I am becoming. I look for opportunities to help other people. I share my story when it’s appropriate. I do some volunteer work and continue to be involved in a community of kind people for support and accountability. And I continue to look for ways to develop myself, care for my mental health and physical health, and to bless and benefit others with what I’ve learned about how to conduct myself in this world.

And after a year of agnostic sobriety and exploring, that’s how I view the 12 steps! How would you change them, to benefit your recovery?

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