When I started using alcohol and drugs, my goals were: to feel more confident and social. I wanted to be more productive and charming. I wanted to have more fun and be more likable. I liked the way they made me feel.
When I got sober, my goals were: to be more responsible and trusted by my family again. To reconnect with people I loved and missed. To feel less hopeless and empty, and more fulfilled. To have a better lifestyle that people would respect. To get my shit together. To have more money and a better place to live.
If you’re debating whether or not to get sober, you should know that recovery has been a huge blessing to me, and it gets easier for most of us after the first couple of months. I’m now over 1 year sober from methamphetamine, and I very rarely get cravings anymore. My child is back in my life. My life is wonderful now. Good things keep happening to me that I never could’ve imagined before. I’m about to finish my bachelors degree that I had abandoned when I was younger. I have an internship and really good friendships.
Here is a collection of advice that I got in early recovery, that worked for me, which I’ll share with you.
Building community is extremely important. The opposite of addiction is connection.
Getting sober requires friends who are also getting sober, so you can learn together and motivate each other. If that’s intimidating for you, know that you can build an amazing community without even leaving the house.
- Recovery meetings are incredibly helpful, completely free, available all day every day, and there are a wide variety of options. If you don’t like Alcoholics Anonymous, try Refuge Recovery, Smart Recovery, or Recovery Dharma. If you can’t get to a meeting in person, do meetings online, any time of day, from your phone or laptop. You can just listen to them if you’re not comfortable speaking up.
- Be open to sober living in the first year of recovery. Look up certified sober houses in your state. Sober houses have lower rent than most apartments, and everyone that lives there is trying to get clean, too, so you’re not alone. The rules are to keep you safe, and you can find sober houses with all sorts of different approaches- whether you prefer strict or open-minded. Usually the rules are: take random drug tests, attend recovery meetings, help with chores. There are sober houses for men, women, co-ed, and families.
- Join some group chats on WhatsApp, Discord, or Facebook that are focused on recovery. I’m in a group chat where every morning, people send a message about what they’re grateful for.
- Find a mentor. In AA, you can ask for help finding a sponsor at any meeting. A sponsor is someone who explains the 12 Steps to you and walks you through them and helps you grow as a person. If you’re not doing AA, reach out to a role model in your life who believes in you and wants the best for you, and tell them you’re trying to get sober and need their help.
- Block all the friends that tempt you to use again. This is easier if you’ve been in the process of making new friends.
Writing down what you experienced is very healing.
- Start keeping a journal.
- Write down what you’re grateful for every single morning. You can do this in your journal or in a note on your phone. It can be one sentence. Examples- “I am grateful for my mom.” “I am grateful I have a soft warm bed.” “I am grateful that the sun is shining today.” It sounds stupid, but studies show that writing down what you’re grateful for boosts happiness and wellbeing over time
- Start writing some poetry or short stories. No one ever has to read them, but it will occupy your mind and give you a way to express yourself.
- The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which some people choose to use, involve a lot of personal writing. For example, the 4th Step of AA asks you to write down all your resentments and fears so you can process them and let them go. For more information on this specific kind of writing, check out this post about preparing for Step 4.
- Try letter writing. This can be a great way to confront your past. You never have to send the letter if you don’t want to or you’re not ready.
Collect resources online.
Constantly be looking up helpful tips and inspiration online. Here are a few to get you started:
Frehab – A Free, Anonymous, and Community-Powered Path to Recovery
The 17 Best Online Sobriety Support Spaces
/r/stopdrinking: A support group in your pocket!
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Take care of your physical health and appearance.
Most addicts damage their body and physical appearence with their substance of choice, so you’re not alone. Personally my teeth were ruined and my weight fluctuated wildly. To heal this part of yourself, do something every single day to care for your physical health or appearance. Choose one item from this list to do today. It could be:
- Taking a shower
- Brushing teeth or using a gentle mouthwash
- Washing your face and applying some moisturizer
- Putting lotion on your body
- Eating something healthy that you like
- Drinking two full glasses of water
Pray or meditate daily.
Some people believe in God and some people don’t. Either way, the point is to sit in silence and let your mind calm down. Praying or meditating is like freeing the mind from all the stress and worry that’s been weighing it down. There are multiple ways to pray or meditate- even if you have a short attention span.
There’s so much more.
There’s so much more I could say about getting sober. Like how getting back into old hobbies (drawing again) can support healing. Like the benefits of positive psychology, and how changing your attitude and perspective is the best way to reduce anxiety. If you have any questions about the recovery journey, please feel free to comment on this post and I will respond.
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Hope Beyond Dope: Realistic Recovery from Addictions and Mental Illness 
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